When You're Out, Be In The NOW

I hear countless questions by students when we're out.  Questions that sound like this: 

    What should I do to get her to like me?

    What is the next step?

    Where do I go from the attraction phase?

    What do I do? 

In all those situations, I tell them to pause and answer other questions.  Questions such as:

    What is the color of the ceilings in the club? 

    What are the shapes and patterns on the wall?

    What is the temperature of the room?

This helps them get out of their minds and into what is actually happening.  The voices aren't just from guys; they come from myself as well. When I pay attention, at times there is a whole conversation out there I am having.  When we have these conversations, we aren't in the moment.

When we are thinking of the perfect thing to say, the perfect line/story/hook for a girl we aren't in the present.  When we are thinking what is the ideal reaction we want from a girl and how to get it, we aren't in the present.

I don't usually drink in the club.  I go sober most of the time, as I like to have my wits about me.  I want to be thinking straight and face the good and what I don't perceive as good.  It is a great exercise to stay present full on.

By being present, when I am having a good time, this escalates things a lot more and I can make key distinctions.   If it happens that I get poor responses, I want to face it directly, as this is pure growth.  I can learn and I realize I won't die.

This is a good opportunity to just breathe.  Have you just breathed in a nightclub and felt what it feels like?
 

Try it right now.
 

Slowly read each of these words and just pause naturally between the words.  Now feel yourself breathing. Don't try to control it but just feel.   In and out, in and out.  Any thoughts you have, bring them back to your breathing.

This returns you to your natural power.  Any thinking after will be clearer.

When I am out with my wing, and we notice there is too much expectancy in our minds, we pause and breathe for a couple of moments.  This is golden, as it helps us escape from our minds into what is happening now.  We face the reality head on.

Also, try this.  When you are conversing in the bar with your wing, ask him to close his eyes and ask him to tell you what he noticed in that part of the bar or club.  Examples of questions could be, what are the labels of the drinks, what color shirt the bartender is wearing and how many candles or other ornaments there are on the counter.  Then repeat so he can ask you after.

With practice you will find it easier to be in the now and your powers of observation will increase as a secondary gain.

 With learning how to observe better, this will help your calibrating as well, which is pure money at the club.  Calibration is like gold, and next time we will talk about getting and using it.