So You Think You Can Game

Tell me if this has ever happened to you: You’ve been in the community for a long time and find some success, but then you go stale because at times, you don’t get that success consecutively.  You find you are actually doing worse than before, and you think this is so weird.

I remember going to a wedding some time back.  I had improved my game and had a string of successes.  I thought of myself as the mack daddy of the universe at that point.  I was in a totally different venue (outdoor wedding), a different city (Montreal), and I walked in with this pimp attitude.  In my mind I was the top dog and everyone was below me.  

This was all ego.  Or should I say EGO. 

At the beginning, it was fine.  I started making conversations with people and being social.  However, soon I observed myself stop more often and starting to doubt myself.  Rather than risk rejection, I lied to myself saying I was in the NOW, or that it didn’t matter.  I noticed something different in the way I interacted.  So, I was being social and meeting a bunch of people but not being authentic with any of them.  I wasn’t establishing any real connection at all.

I didn’t even notice the naturals, who were conversing and asking questions.  The times I did notice, I began to quickly judge.  I even saw a few of them even lean in.  My gosh!

I remember dancing and trying to impress everyone with my "skills".  Sure I got some reaction from girls and maybe 1 or 2 opened me, but then I started noticing my own state change. When I got a positive reaction from girls, my state went up.  However, when I wasn’t getting the right reaction my state went down, and this was happening a LOT more. 

I tried dancing harder. I tried dancing better.  Nothing was happening.  Not only that, but just the act of trying pushed my mind to think more.  Soon I was thinking so much and it was mostly about my failures.  Then I made a breakthrough.  I saw an alpha natural with his tie on his head and his shirt open and doing the craziest of dances.  He was doing what he wanted, when he wanted.  

It was crazy shit.   It was shit I forgot.

Immediately I started being myself.  I smiled because I wanted to smile.  I high-fived because I wanted to.  Before, it was to get the approval of others.  I started dancing in front of the bride, with my back towards her and want doooown, down, down, down.

I started doing all my natural stuff.  Developing connections with people and having conversations because I wanted to.  I started yelling and just sitting down with people, not worrying what they would think or anything negative.  

I remembered.

I felt a lot better and was getting reaction from everyone in more genuine ways.

The most important part of this experience is I learnt the ego has to be let go of.  If you find yourself scared or making excuses or just not wanting to take action, this is where you got to do it.  This is where you have to shatter that ego.  Go and do your best.  Face any reaction head on.  Fuck up a few times, know how it feels like.  Sometimes you got to take a step backward to take two forward.  

It hurts, but trust me, once the ego is gone it won’t hurt at all. You will be free to be yourself.  Nothing can touch you.

You will see the matrix.